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They call me Nazi, and I’m proud about it.
They call me racist, and I shout it out loud.
I’m proud of my race, I’m proud of my land.
White brothers and sisters, come on, raise your hand:
We’re an 88 rock ‘n’ roll band.

Landser, “88 Rock ‘n’ Roll Band”

Don’t take the title of this post seriously. Certainly don’t take the song seriously! I am a moderate, tolerant, cuddly sort of Republican — a compassionate reactionary, if you will. Open borders! Equal rights! I love immigrants. I hate slavery. I’m even a card-carrying member of the Minority Outright Operation of the Libertarian Youth, which is devoted to increasing libertarian awareness in the minority community. (We’re also known as the MOOLYs.)

Have all the SPLC spies gone yet? Is the Tolerance Enforcement Squad out of earshot? All right, Hate Commandos, let’s get back to work.

Anyway, the esteemed Republican brain trust would like our attention, Steve Sailer reports. They have mine — for the next ten minutes, that is. I feel that’s more than enough time to absorb, dissect, insult, and ultimately discard their ideas.

“Get Rid of the Radicals,” suggests Norman J. Ornstein.

[T]he party needs to abandon the tribal approach of the past four years — “if President Obama and Democrats are for it, we are against it (even if we were for it yesterday).”

Let’s send Norman J. Ornstein to Zimbabwe so he can observe first-hand the real “tribal approach” to politics. Hell, send him to Chicago.

“Enough With the Immigrant Bashing,” sighs Linda Chavez.

[T]he Republican Party’s hostile rhetoric and obstructionist position on comprehensive immigration reform has soured Hispanics on the G.O.P. Some in the Republican leadership and among conservative opinion leaders now seem willing to entertain the notion of comprehensive reform, which includes granting legal status to most of the 11 million illegal immigrants already here. But it will take genuine action on this issue, as well as discouraging the party’s base from continued illegal immigrant bashing, before more Hispanics will consider voting Republican anytime soon.

In “Don’t Ignore Social Conservatives,” Richard Land pleads for “immigration reform” (i.e., capitulation to foreign invasion) as well.

While the G.O.P. needs to expand its base by embracing immigration reform and finding younger candidates and spokespersons, especially young women to make the pro-life case, they must not moderate their social conservative message. If the G.O.P. found it hard to win with their current base, imagine how excruciatingly difficult, if not impossible, it would be for them to try and win without that base.

Don’t be stupid, Republicans — well, don’t be stupider than usual. Clearly, the solution to your recent, meaningless defeat involves creating upwards of 11,000,000 new lifelong Democrats. Anything less than comprehensive immigration reform would be bashing those poor helpless illegal immigrants — I mean, undocumented workers — I mean, uh, newcomers on the path to citizenship.

Don’t worry, you get to keep your weary, uninspired, hopeless, dwindling “base.”

“Stop Turning Off Women,” moans Tracey Schmitt.

Republicans need to do a better job of showing compassion and concern for the problems women face in their everyday lives.

Well, if you want to turn a woman on (to your political party, I mean, obviously), you could offer her unconditional emotional support for the problems she faces in her everyday life. Problems like — oh I don’t know, let’s say it’s how all the politician guys she meets are jerks who never call her after she votes them into her “office” for a “term” or two. However, in my admittedly limited experience, which largely involves a certain gratuitously French girl, it’s more effective to get a couple drinks in her, inform her that you’re a proud fascist, and go straight for the dance-floor make-out. Either that, or stuff her full of croissants and wine. Then again, I don’t try to meet girls chicks strong, independent women like Tracey Schmitt.

“Win Over Blacks Via the Military,” demands Kiron K. Skinner, which is what I’ve been saying for years: we need to use the military to triumph over the blacks.

Wait, what?

The U.S. military continues to be the pathway to a stable future for millions of Americans, including African-Americans, who have fought in every American war and now comprise 16.9 percent of the armed forces. African-American women are enlisting at the rate of twice their percentage of the population.

I see. We use the blacks to wipe out the Arabs. How… delicious. Can we deploy the Mexicans to take out the Jews? But who would be left to fight the Chinese?

“Stay Firm on Fiscal Responsibility,” declares Matt Kibbe. IMPORTANT ISSUES AHEAD

Clearly anyone wanting to capture the Republican nomination for 2016 should realize that they will need a bold fiscal conservative economic vision to win supporters of the Tea Party community that started coming together in 2008 after George W. Bush introduced the TARP program.

The strength of this community, bound by a set of values, is everything. The key to future races is this community. It is the only asset that outlasts the last election results and it certainly outlasts the wall-to-wall barrage of television ads that cost hundreds of millions of dollars, with little to show for it the day after.

Try the ‘Park version:

The strength of this [race], bound by [blood, not to mention] a set of values, is everything. The key to future [community] is this [race]. It is the only asset that outlasts [democracy].

Aww yeah.

Today, violent racial paramilitaries occupy every major city in America and much of Europe. Their pastimes include: doing drugs, selling drugs, cashing welfare checks, voting Democrat, beating up random white people and stealing their shoes, stealing their cars, stealing their phones, stealing everything else that isn’t nailed down, rape, obesity, having lots of babies and outsourcing their education, care and feeding to well-intentioned white people, being loud, crying “racist,” hating white people, and throwing trash all over the place.

You may have heard of these “no-go zones,” like this and this and this and this and this and these and these and about a hundred billion other reports.

A real country would send in the army to wipe them out and clean it up. But America is a joke country. So are Britain, France, Germany, and Sweden, of course. A funny joke, I admit, but a practical joke. Played on the white majority.

Yes, I said “the army.” This is not a job for police. Police are supposed to deal with the occasional citizen who commits a crime, not put down insurgencies and stop foreign invasions. The army is supposed to do those things, not “bring democracy” to shithole sandpiles in the Middle East.

The police are militarizing, it’s true, but they’re still bound by rules even more ludicrously strict than the military’s — rules that could only pacify a white populace. Thus, as a simple consequence of anarcho-tyranny, all that shiny new hardware will ultimately be brought to bear on the white lower and middle classes.

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a white person’s face. Forever.

I know I joke around quite a bit here at the ‘Park, but let’s get serious. Whoever you are, whatever you believe, you have to admit: the Nazis knew how to deal with this.

Cute ferret!

cute ferret

“Official Positions” is the ‘Park’s never-ending series of pronouncements on OFFICIAL ‘PARK DOCTRINE, to which all ‘Park rangers/hate-kittens must subscribe on pain of EXCOMMUNICATION.

What does one say when one is accused of being a big ol’ racis’? Only the truth, ladies and gentlemen. Only the truth.

  • “I’m not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is something Jamaicans and Mexicans do.” (H/T)
  • “I’m not racist. I just believe there are important racial differences in how urgently some people need to be sterilized.”
  • “I’m not racist. I just believe there are important racial differences in how much I want to ship your black ass back to Ooga-Booga land.”
  • “I’m not racist. I just have a perfectly normal, natural preference for people who don’t have slanty eyes and big lips and greasy hair and gross-looking skin and bones through their noses and eat tacos all the time.”
  • “I’m not racist. I have friends from all different races, even though some of them smell really bad and are always stealing my stuff, like the Gypsies.”
  • “I’m not racist. Some of my best friends are niggers.”
  • “I’m not racist. I believe there’s only one race: the human race.

    And Chinese aren’t included.”

  • “I’m not racist. I believe there’s only one race:

    The Aryan race.”

  • “Hey, if wanting to gas all the Jews to death in concentration camps makes me some kind of ‘racist’, then gee, I guess I’m a biiiiiiig ‘racist’.”
  • “Yeah, well, they called Hitler racist, too.”

“Official Positions” is the ‘Park’s never-ending series of pronouncements on OFFICIAL ‘PARK DOCTRINE, to which all ‘Park rangers/hate-kittens must subscribe on pain of EXCOMMUNICATION.

Democracy is shit and your vote is worthless. That “I Voted” sticker you slapped on might as well read “As a Slave to the Political, Intellectual and Entertainment Classes, I Do Not and Indeed Cannot Think for Myself and Therefore Am Not Responsible Enough to Participate in Any Political Process; Please Disenfranchise Me so that My Betters Can Implement a New and Less Retarded System of Governance, i.e., Fascism.”

Just what do you imagine democracy is? What’s your democracy-fetishist fantasy? Is democracy a fair, equitable and just system for choosing competent leaders? Responsible leaders? Intelligent, cultured, wise, or even good-looking leaders? No. Democracy, you damnable fool, awards power, free of oversight and any identifiable responsibility, to whichever narcissistic, psychopathic, Machiavellian asshole is best at tricking large numbers of idiots into voting for him.

Obama. Bush. Kennedy. Nixon. Churchill. Hitler. FDR. Mandela. What do all these men have in common? That’s right: they’re all colossal shitheads who should have been dragged into the street and mercifully euthanized via curb stomping-induced brain death. And they were all democratically elected, because voters are retarded.

Let’s be serious for a moment. Voters are basically monkeys throwing feces at each other in a cage. Every few years, the political class, on the orders of the intellectual class, permits the entertainment class (e.g., the mainstream media) to let these monkeys out of their communal cage to smear their shit-stained monkey paws on a ballot, which may or may not be counted by other shitty monkeys, to indicate which candidate has promised them the most bananas or the biggest jar of orange marmalade or whatever (tax cuts, gay marriage, no gay marriage, civil rights, etc). Candidates are not required to actually deliver on the bananas, the orange marmalade, etc, and by the next election the voters will no doubt have forgotten all about it, being, as they are, shit-stained monkey retards.

And that’s how democracy works!

Now here is a wriggly ferret.

wriggle

“Official Positions” is the ‘Park’s never-ending series of pronouncements on OFFICIAL ‘PARK DOCTRINE, to which all ‘Park rangers/hate-kittens must subscribe on pain of EXCOMMUNICATION.

Unless we act decisively and strike soon, we don’t stand a chance of defeating Israel.

“Official Positions” is the ‘Park’s never-ending series of pronouncements on OFFICIAL ‘PARK DOCTRINE, to which all ‘Park rangers/hate-kittens must subscribe on pain of EXCOMMUNICATION.

I’m opposed to the war in Afghanistan. I’m opposed to the war in Iraq. I’m opposed to the War on Drugs and the War on Poverty. But I support the War on Women.

Finally, a war we might actually win.

“Official Positions” is the ‘Park’s never-ending series of pronouncements on OFFICIAL ‘PARK DOCTRINE, to which all ‘Park rangers/hate-kittens must subscribe on pain of EXCOMMUNICATION.

Pro-life? Pro-choice? Pro-rape? As always, my thoughts on the subject are far more subtle and nuanced than everybody else’s, because everybody else is retarded.

I’m pro-life for white babies. Pro-abortion for everything else.

“Official Positions” is the ‘Park’s never-ending series of pronouncements on OFFICIAL ‘PARK DOCTRINE, to which all ‘Park rangers/hate-kittens must subscribe on pain of EXCOMMUNICATION.

The results are in! The people have spoken, and their voices rang out loud and clear:

Ferrets are the new kitties.

LOOK AT THEIR FACES AND THEIR LITTLE PAWS AWWWW

Gratuitous French Girl: Um… Unamusé…

Unamused: Hmm hmm hmmmm… silly little ferrets…

Gratuitous French Girl: UNAMUSÉ!

Unamused: Quoi?

Gratuitous French Girl: Who ‘as won ze Presidential election?

Unamused: Who cares. Democracy is shit. Your vote is worthless.

Unamused and Gratuitous French Girl: FASCISM FORWARD!

UPDATE: I guess the mulatto won?

From the New York Post (via commenter ed357): “Mom of teen ‘slay sibs’ tips off cops after NJ girl, 12, killed for bike” (Oct. 24).

A New Jersey mom ratted out her teen sons for the murder of a 12-year-old girl after reading a Facebook posting hinting that one of them wanted to go on the lam, law-enforcement sources told The Post.

“The girl loved BMX bikes and famous riders, her Facebook page said.”

Justin Davidson’s mom saw his message “Might be moving :(” on Sunday and became suspicious.

She tipped cops that he might have been involved in the disappearance of their neighbor, Autumn Pasquale, in Clayton, NJ, the sources said.

yo just strangled this 12-year-old girl, might have to flee :(

Autumn was allegedly lured to meet Justin, 15, and his brother Dante Robinson, 17, at their home Saturday because they wanted parts from her beloved BMX bike.

The massive search for Autumn came to a tragic end Monday night when her body was found stuffed in a recycling bin at a vacant property near the boys’ house.

An autopsy found she had been strangled.

Really wanted that BMX bike.

As family and friends held out hope that Autumn would be found alive, Justin communicated with her brother on Facebook to say he was glad police were using dogs in the search, NBC Philadelphia reported.

The two brothers were charged with murder, body disposal and tampering with evidence. Justin was also charged with luring.

When detectives searched the Robinson home, they found some of Autumn’s belongings and her bike, Gloucester County Prosecutor Sean Dalton said.

The boys’ father, Alonzo Robinson, told the Star-Ledger of Newark that his sons had been charged with bike theft before.

“I think someone wanted the girl’s bicycle,” Robinson said. “Maybe she wanted her bike and resisted, and one of them snatched her off a bike.”

(“Maybe,” explains Alonzo Robinson (black), the 12-year-old (white) girl arrogantly “wanted her bike” not to be stolen by his 17-year-old son Dante Robinson (also black) and Dante’s 15-year-old half-brother Justin Davidson (equally black). She must have foolishly “resisted,” forcing one of them to “snatch her” off the bike, which of course inevitably — through white privilege/legacy of slavery/institutional racism-related forces too obvious and numerous to list here — led to her strangled corpse winding up in a recycling bin.)

Now, obviously, no one cares about another black-on-white interracial diverse murder crime incident event. Another diverse event. But some of you racists, being all full of hate (grrrrrr), will no doubt be tempted to speculate as to the hypothetical extent of media coverage and public outrage had the races in this crime been reversed, which, of course, they never ever are. Some of you may further be tempted to chalk this up to a double standard.

This is wrong.

There is no “double standard” at work here. There is merely “a single standard, universally applied,” as the quite brilliant commenter oscar the grinch quite brilliantly put it:

“what they want is a quite deliberate double standard where blacks are allowed the racial consciousness whites are denied”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Stop complaining about a double standard, and see the truth.

For the left, there is no “double standard”; there is a single standard, universally applied, and it is this:

Fuck you, whitey. No matter what the facts are, no matter what the circumstances are, just fuck you, whitey. Die, white man.

That is the core of their belief. They are not your loyal opposition, with whom you can argue in good faith. They are your deadly ENEMIES, who want you exterminated from the face of the earth. And they don’t care about any abstract principles, their only true principle is to exterminate YOU. They are more than happy to pretend that there are outside standards or principles of fair play, because so long as you believe that, then they have the advantage.

Remember: whenever a leftist/liberal/anti-racist opens his mouth, all he is really saying is: Die, white man. Fuck off and DIE.

Please bear this in mind. They are the enemy.

Most of them, of course, don’t think of themselves that way. They truly believe they’re doing the right thing, and hey, even if they’re not (and it’s easy enough to prove they’re not, just with the resources here at the ‘Park), it’ll probably work itself out all right in the end. It’s not worth speaking up, rocking the boat, upsetting people, drawing unwanted attention to yourself…

If you’re anti-Nazi, it may help to think of these people as collaborators with Hitler’s regime. If you’re pro-Nazi, or ambivalent toward the Nazis (while, of course, cultivating the true reactionary’s necessary hatred of all things Marxist), it may help to think of them as collaborators with Stalin’s regime.

(Here at Unamusement Park, we celebrate a diversity of views on National Socialism. But you still have to hate Commies!)

Anything to add, Confused Stoner Jew (Unamusement Park’s recently reinstated official Jew correspondent, not to mention its official Getting High and Listening to Acid Rock correspondent)?

Confused Stoner Jew: Yeah, man, that’s, like, totally how bike theft caused the Holocaust —

Unamused: … What.

Confused Stoner Jew: — also known as the Shoah, the Final Solution, the Aktion Reinhard, the Worst Thing That Ever Happened, the Only Genocide That Ever Happened, “The Great de-Jewing,” “Jew-Be-Gone” (“Now with 100% more Zyklon B! Gets those stubborn Jew parasites other household democides miss!”), the Holocau$t, the Holocau$$$t, the Holocau$$$$$$$$$t, the H$l$c$$st, the Holo-hoax, the Hoax-ocaust, the Holo-fraud, the Holo-con, the Con-ocaust, the Holo-spoof, the Spoof-ocaust, the Holo-prank, the Holo-jape, the Holo-caper, the Caper-caust, the Holo-lampoon, the Lampoon-ocaust, the LOL-ocaust, the TROLLOLOL-ocaust, “The Passion of the Christ, Part 2: Jesus’ Revenge,” the Six Million, the Three Million, the Two Million, the Eleven Billion Zillion, the “oy vey, Adolf, there you again, always wit’ the gassing, you’re going to give your mother a heart attack, why don’t you just find yourself a nice Jewish girl already, now eat your latkes and let’s move to Florida and vote Democrat forever,” and probably several other terms.

Unamused: I hate you.

Confused Stoner Jew: Anti-semitism!

Unamused: Get in the oven.

Why, indeed, am I still doing this?

I don’t mean “why am I still doing this?” That’s easy enough to answer: because it’s the right thing to do.

I also don’t mean “why am I still doing this?” That’s even easier: because we haven’t won yet.

What I want to know is, why am I still doing this? Why haven’t I been driven out of business by a thousand better-written blogs by a thousand smarter, wiser, funnier, better-looking (not to mention drastically more psychologically stable) young reactionaries/ethnopatriots? Like frequent commenter M.G., over at Those Who Can See (my favorite blog besides Moldbug’s)?

Here are some things brilliant, groundbreaking tactics I’ve devised over the past couple of years, which would not be too difficult for someone else to do just as well, if not better:

So up and at ‘em, little hate-kitten.

gun-kitty

There will be more important things to do in the coming weeks than casting your worthless vote for the next Marxist president of these Disunited States of Post-Racial America.

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