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Archive for the 'Humor' Category

Steve Sailer is a time traveling plagiarist. See above. Doubtless this will come as a shock to some of you. “Steve Sailer?” I hear you asking. “Traveling through time?” Yes. Yes he did. To plagiarize me. “But… with time travel?” I think you’re losing sight of the real issue here, which is his blatant — […]

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Happy New Year! Let’s hope 2012 is better than 2011 — or, failing that, so much worse than 2011 that it brings the whole damn system crumbling down, so we can start over. As Thomas Jefferson once said: “I hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing, and as necessary […]

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By popular demand, we at Unamusement Park have decided to stop being racist. Unfortunately, our efforts in that direction were stymied almost immediately when we remembered that we have no idea what “racism” is supposed to mean. Others, we suspect, may harbor similar doubts. So confusing! Take lynchings, for example. Lynchings, it is generally agreed, […]

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The “Pretty Face of Hatred” (Act I, Act II part 1) continues with this, the stunning conclusion to Act II: “Let’s Ship All the Blacks Back to Africa.” We would like to remind you that the songs in this Act have more or less the same rhythm as this song. [Enter UNAMUSED IN BLACKFACE. TIM […]

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Ladies and gentlemen: you have been lied to! Previously, the honorable gentlemen behind the reputable racist Internet website “Unamusement Park” were enormously pleased to announce the triumphant return of the Internet’s foremost hyper-sexual genius — that endlessly talented, stunningly attractive, impeccably dressed, impossibly brilliant über-alpha living in a world of worker bees — the wildly […]

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Ladies and gentlemen, sluts and forest faeries: Good evening, and welcome to the first (and quite possibly last) surprise midnight vacation edition of that mildly popular ongoing thought crime, the “Unamusement Park,” brought to you tonight from the top of a pine tree growing in the exact center of a small, circular, heavily bear-infested island […]

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Ladies and gentlemen: at last, the moment you’ve all been waiting for — — unless, of course, you happen to be gifted with a more-than-rudimentary sense of decorum, in which case (a) why, oh why, are you reading Unamusement Park? and (b) you should stop reading this post right now. You can’t say I didn’t […]

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Smoke rises from the ruins of Unamusement Park’s recently exploded main Hate Laboratory, illuminated only by a merrily crackling blue-green chemical fire. MUFFLED VOICE: Ow. Something stirs beneath the large pile of smoldering rubble in the center of the room. A hand emerges from the top, then another, and finally a head. They belong to […]

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It’s that time of the month again — no, not that time, the good time: time for Unamusement Park’s three-month anniversary spectacular! Hurray! Or should I say… Unamusement Park’s three-month anniversary slut-tacular. Hurray again! Hurray for sluts! You thought I’d forgotten, didn’t you? You silly goose. This is a day I’ll remember forever, like the […]

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