Posted in Celebrations!, Gratuitous French Girl on Jan 22nd, 2012
Let the celebrations begin! Today, the Internet’s #1 source for silly kittens… … slutty forest faeries… … gratuitous French girls… … and racial hatred… … turns ONE YEAR OLD. Huzzah! A bold new direction! On this very special occasion, I am pleased to announce that in exactly one week, Unamusement Park will cease to exist [...]
Posted in Announcements, Celebrations! on Jan 2nd, 2012
Happy New Year! Let’s hope 2012 is better than 2011 — or, failing that, so much worse than 2011 that it brings the whole damn system crumbling down, so we can start over. As Thomas Jefferson once said: “I hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing, and as necessary [...]
Posted in Celebrations!, Reactionary Musicals, SPLC, Tim Wise Is a Fat, Stupid Hamster on Oct 2nd, 2011
The “Pretty Face of Hatred” (Act I, Act II part 1) continues with this, the stunning conclusion to Act II: “Let’s Ship All the Blacks Back to Africa.” We would like to remind you that the songs in this Act have more or less the same rhythm as this song. [Enter UNAMUSED IN BLACKFACE. TIM [...]
Posted in Celebrations!, Reactionary Musicals, SPLC, Tim Wise Is a Fat, Stupid Hamster on Sep 24th, 2011
Ladies and gentlemen: you have been lied to! Previously, the honorable gentlemen behind the reputable racist Internet website “Unamusement Park” were enormously pleased to announce the triumphant return of the Internet’s foremost hyper-sexual genius — that endlessly talented, stunningly attractive, impeccably dressed, impossibly brilliant über-alpha living in a world of worker bees — the wildly [...]
Posted in Celebrations!, Feminism, Reactionary Musicals on Jul 23rd, 2011
Ladies and gentlemen: at last, the moment you’ve all been waiting for — — unless, of course, you happen to be gifted with a more-than-rudimentary sense of decorum, in which case (a) why, oh why, are you reading Unamusement Park? and (b) you should stop reading this post right now. You can’t say I didn’t [...]
Posted in Celebrations!, Gratuitous French Girl on May 23rd, 2011
Smoke rises from the ruins of Unamusement Park’s recently exploded main Hate Laboratory, illuminated only by a merrily crackling blue-green chemical fire. MUFFLED VOICE: Ow. Something stirs beneath the large pile of smoldering rubble in the center of the room. A hand emerges from the top, then another, and finally a head. They belong to [...]
Posted in Celebrations! on Apr 22nd, 2011
It’s that time of the month again — no, not that time, the good time: time for Unamusement Park’s three-month anniversary spectacular! Hurray! Or should I say… Unamusement Park’s three-month anniversary slut-tacular. Hurray again! Hurray for sluts! You thought I’d forgotten, didn’t you? You silly goose. This is a day I’ll remember forever, like the [...]
Posted in Celebrations!, Gratuitous French Girl on Mar 22nd, 2011
Today the Internet’s #1 source for racial blasphemy and incitement to genocide turns two months old. You can’t see it from where you’re sitting, but I just set off three thousand fireworks — — in the general direction of a black orphanage. Sadly, one of those months was February, the shortest and therefore gayest month. [...]
