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Archive for the 'Celebrations!' Category

As you may be aware, one year ago, I announced that Unamusement Park would cease to exist in its current format — that it would switch to a print publication by the awesome name of Radish. Today, I am horrified to report that someone, some SECRET ORGANIZATION, possibly in collusion with a sneaky kitty, has […]

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Unamusement Park’s first monthly Commenter Appreciation Day Weekend festivities drag on into a third consecutive day of binge drinking and racial hatred, as we are joined here at our secret bunker complex in Vermont (or is it Oregon?) by all thirty of the SPLC’s “key men and women activists of the radical right” for Unamusement […]

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I hereby declare that the last day of each month shall be Commenter Appreciation Day at Unamusement Park! Huzzah! As a bonus, with this post, the 23rd of the month, May 2012 replaces April 2011 as Unamusement Park’s most productive month ever. Double huzzah! In celebration, I’ve prepared some delicious pancakes and brought in the […]

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It’s been a while since we did one of these. We recently had cause for celebration as Unamusement Park made the news (finally!) after an intrepid ‘Park reader ranger stapled our flyer on race and crime to copies of City Arts magazine (promoting “Black Power”) in Seattle. Deluded “anti-racist” and disingenuous white liberal (DWL) Dave […]

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Let the celebrations begin! Today, the Internet’s #1 source for silly kittens… … slutty forest faeries… … gratuitous French girls… … and racial hatred… … turns ONE YEAR OLD. Huzzah! A bold new direction! On this very special occasion, I am pleased to announce that in exactly one week, Unamusement Park will cease to exist […]

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Happy New Year! Let’s hope 2012 is better than 2011 — or, failing that, so much worse than 2011 that it brings the whole damn system crumbling down, so we can start over. As Thomas Jefferson once said: “I hold it, that a little rebellion, now and then, is a good thing, and as necessary […]

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The “Pretty Face of Hatred” (Act I, Act II part 1) continues with this, the stunning conclusion to Act II: “Let’s Ship All the Blacks Back to Africa.” We would like to remind you that the songs in this Act have more or less the same rhythm as this song. [Enter UNAMUSED IN BLACKFACE. TIM […]

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Ladies and gentlemen: you have been lied to! Previously, the honorable gentlemen behind the reputable racist Internet website “Unamusement Park” were enormously pleased to announce the triumphant return of the Internet’s foremost hyper-sexual genius — that endlessly talented, stunningly attractive, impeccably dressed, impossibly brilliant über-alpha living in a world of worker bees — the wildly […]

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Ladies and gentlemen: at last, the moment you’ve all been waiting for — — unless, of course, you happen to be gifted with a more-than-rudimentary sense of decorum, in which case (a) why, oh why, are you reading Unamusement Park? and (b) you should stop reading this post right now. You can’t say I didn’t […]

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Smoke rises from the ruins of Unamusement Park’s recently exploded main Hate Laboratory, illuminated only by a merrily crackling blue-green chemical fire. MUFFLED VOICE: Ow. Something stirs beneath the large pile of smoldering rubble in the center of the room. A hand emerges from the top, then another, and finally a head. They belong to […]

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