Unamusement Park’s Official Position on War
Nov 9th, 2012 by Unamused
I’m opposed to the war in Afghanistan. I’m opposed to the war in Iraq. I’m opposed to the War on Drugs and the War on Poverty. But I support the War on Women.
Finally, a war we might actually win.
“Official Positions” is the ‘Park’s never-ending series of pronouncements on OFFICIAL ‘PARK DOCTRINE, to which all ‘Park rangers/hate-kittens must subscribe on pain of EXCOMMUNICATION.
As long as it’s a limited war rather than a war of extermination. No female suffrage, no automatic child custody, no education beyond the 8th grade for women under 50.
My rifle is ready, sir. I stand firm against our enemies. Strangely, the more I shoot, the more of them there seem to be.
Johnny
That was a pretty good double entendre hehe
It’s a lost cause. Too much fraternisation with the enemy.
Reminds me of a rejoinder a friend of mine used against a ugly bull duke loudly speaking at a party. She was saying that if women wanted to wage war on men, women would conquer the men quickly.
My companion’s remark was, “Horseradishes, if the men ever made war on women, they would crush us in a day, kill the ugly ones, keeping the good looking ones for breeding stock!”
The shocked silence was palpable, followed by applause.
The ” I salute your courage, your strength, your indefatigability, and I want you to know that we are with you, hatta al-nasr, hatta al-nasr, hatta Albaquerque.” was designed for your companion.
I was feeling pretty bad these last several days following Axelrod being elected president. He seems like a despicable prick to me.
But your support for a war on women really encouraged me. Damn, it would be so easy. They’re all scared of guns.