Unamusement Park’s Official Position on Democracy
Nov 10th, 2012 by Unamused
Democracy is shit and your vote is worthless. That “I Voted” sticker you slapped on might as well read “As a Slave to the Political, Intellectual and Entertainment Classes, I Do Not and Indeed Cannot Think for Myself and Therefore Am Not Responsible Enough to Participate in Any Political Process; Please Disenfranchise Me so that My Betters Can Implement a New and Less Retarded System of Governance, i.e., Fascism.”
Just what do you imagine democracy is? What’s your democracy-fetishist fantasy? Is democracy a fair, equitable and just system for choosing competent leaders? Responsible leaders? Intelligent, cultured, wise, or even good-looking leaders? No. Democracy, you damnable fool, awards power, free of oversight and any identifiable responsibility, to whichever narcissistic, psychopathic, Machiavellian asshole is best at tricking large numbers of idiots into voting for him.
Obama. Bush. Kennedy. Nixon. Churchill. Hitler. FDR. Mandela. What do all these men have in common? That’s right: they’re all colossal shitheads who should have been dragged into the street and mercifully euthanized via curb stomping-induced brain death. And they were all democratically elected, because voters are retarded.
Let’s be serious for a moment. Voters are basically monkeys throwing feces at each other in a cage. Every few years, the political class, on the orders of the intellectual class, permits the entertainment class (e.g., the mainstream media) to let these monkeys out of their communal cage to smear their shit-stained monkey paws on a ballot, which may or may not be counted by other shitty monkeys, to indicate which candidate has promised them the most bananas or the biggest jar of orange marmalade or whatever (tax cuts, gay marriage, no gay marriage, civil rights, etc). Candidates are not required to actually deliver on the bananas, the orange marmalade, etc, and by the next election the voters will no doubt have forgotten all about it, being, as they are, shit-stained monkey retards.
And that’s how democracy works!
Now here is a wriggly ferret.
“Official Positions” is the ‘Park’s never-ending series of pronouncements on OFFICIAL ‘PARK DOCTRINE, to which all ‘Park rangers/hate-kittens must subscribe on pain of EXCOMMUNICATION.