Neocons Are Stupid and Deserve to Be Shot
Nov 15th, 2012 by Unamused
They call me Nazi, and I’m proud about it.
They call me racist, and I shout it out loud.
I’m proud of my race, I’m proud of my land.
White brothers and sisters, come on, raise your hand:
We’re an 88 rock ‘n’ roll band.
Landser, “88 Rock ‘n’ Roll Band”
Don’t take the title of this post seriously. Certainly don’t take the song seriously! I am a moderate, tolerant, cuddly sort of Republican — a compassionate reactionary, if you will. Open borders! Equal rights! I love immigrants. I hate slavery. I’m even a card-carrying member of the Minority Outright Operation of the Libertarian Youth, which is devoted to increasing libertarian awareness in the minority community. (We’re also known as the MOOLYs.)
Have all the SPLC spies gone yet? Is the Tolerance Enforcement Squad out of earshot? All right, Hate Commandos, let’s get back to work.
Anyway, the esteemed Republican brain trust would like our attention, Steve Sailer reports. They have mine — for the next ten minutes, that is. I feel that’s more than enough time to absorb, dissect, insult, and ultimately discard their ideas.
“Get Rid of the Radicals,” suggests Norman J. Ornstein.
[T]he party needs to abandon the tribal approach of the past four years — “if President Obama and Democrats are for it, we are against it (even if we were for it yesterday).”
Let’s send Norman J. Ornstein to Zimbabwe so he can observe first-hand the real “tribal approach” to politics. Hell, send him to Chicago.
“Enough With the Immigrant Bashing,” sighs Linda Chavez.
[T]he Republican Party’s hostile rhetoric and obstructionist position on comprehensive immigration reform has soured Hispanics on the G.O.P. Some in the Republican leadership and among conservative opinion leaders now seem willing to entertain the notion of comprehensive reform, which includes granting legal status to most of the 11 million illegal immigrants already here. But it will take genuine action on this issue, as well as discouraging the party’s base from continued illegal immigrant bashing, before more Hispanics will consider voting Republican anytime soon.
In “Don’t Ignore Social Conservatives,” Richard Land pleads for “immigration reform” (i.e., capitulation to foreign invasion) as well.
While the G.O.P. needs to expand its base by embracing immigration reform and finding younger candidates and spokespersons, especially young women to make the pro-life case, they must not moderate their social conservative message. If the G.O.P. found it hard to win with their current base, imagine how excruciatingly difficult, if not impossible, it would be for them to try and win without that base.
Don’t be stupid, Republicans — well, don’t be stupider than usual. Clearly, the solution to your recent, meaningless defeat involves creating upwards of 11,000,000 new lifelong Democrats. Anything less than comprehensive immigration reform would be bashing those poor helpless illegal immigrants — I mean, undocumented workers — I mean, uh, newcomers on the path to citizenship.
Don’t worry, you get to keep your weary, uninspired, hopeless, dwindling “base.”
“Stop Turning Off Women,” moans Tracey Schmitt.
Republicans need to do a better job of showing compassion and concern for the problems women face in their everyday lives.
Well, if you want to turn a woman on (to your political party, I mean, obviously), you could offer her unconditional emotional support for the problems she faces in her everyday life. Problems like — oh I don’t know, let’s say it’s how all the politician guys she meets are jerks who never call her after she votes them into her “office” for a “term” or two. However, in my admittedly limited experience, which largely involves a certain gratuitously French girl, it’s more effective to get a couple drinks in her, inform her that you’re a proud fascist, and go straight for the dance-floor make-out. Either that, or stuff her full of croissants and wine. Then again, I don’t try to meet
girls chicks strong, independent women like Tracey Schmitt.
“Win Over Blacks Via the Military,” demands Kiron K. Skinner, which is what I’ve been saying for years: we need to use the military to triumph over the blacks.
The U.S. military continues to be the pathway to a stable future for millions of Americans, including African-Americans, who have fought in every American war and now comprise 16.9 percent of the armed forces. African-American women are enlisting at the rate of twice their percentage of the population.
I see. We use the blacks to wipe out the Arabs. How… delicious. Can we deploy the Mexicans to take out the Jews? But who would be left to fight the Chinese?
“Stay Firm on Fiscal Responsibility,” declares Matt Kibbe. IMPORTANT ISSUES AHEAD
Clearly anyone wanting to capture the Republican nomination for 2016 should realize that they will need a bold fiscal conservative economic vision to win supporters of the Tea Party community that started coming together in 2008 after George W. Bush introduced the TARP program.
The strength of this community, bound by a set of values, is everything. The key to future races is this community. It is the only asset that outlasts the last election results and it certainly outlasts the wall-to-wall barrage of television ads that cost hundreds of millions of dollars, with little to show for it the day after.
Try the ‘Park version:
The strength of this [race], bound by [blood, not to mention] a set of values, is everything. The key to future [community] is this [race]. It is the only asset that outlasts [democracy].