All Aboard the Hate Submarine
Sep 1st, 2012 by Unamused
Unamused: Ahoy there! Cpt. Unamused here, broadcasting live from the deck of the Hate Submarine, currently on penguin patrol over the magnetic South Pole.
Unamused: Why, you ask? Surely you recall the mysterious flooding of the main Hate Laboratory by several million suspicious gallons of water not two months past, and how I and my petulant yet sultry First Mate were subsequently forced to relocate Central Hate Command (UP-CENT-HAT-COM) to this most hateful of oceanic vessels in order that we might continue
plotting a global race war the Park’s various and wholly innocent operations. Ahem.
Gratuitous French Girl: First Mate me reporting for ze duty!
Unamused: There you are, First Mate. How is the investigation into the mysterious flooding coming along?
Gratuitous French Girl: After very careful consideration of ze available facts and clues and red herrings and other fishies, I have decided to blame ze Jews.
Unamused: Well, obviously. Is that all you’ve come up with?
Gratuitous French Girl: I have also invented ten delicious new recipes for croissants. Here zey are: one, strawberry croissant. Two, blueberry croissant. Three, raspberry croissant. Four, blackberry croissant. Five —
Unamused: How about a gooseberry croissant?
Gratuitous French Girl: Eleven! Huzzah! Eleven delicious new recipes for croissants. I shall prepare a batch of ze elusive gooseberry croissants at once.
Unamused: Good, well done. When you’re finished, bring them up to the bridge. I have an important announcement to make.
To be continued…