PC-to-English dictionary: sexism, sexist
Dec 29th, 2011 by Unamused
- A stubborn refusal — in the twenty-first century, no less — to accept what all gender studies majors, not to mention the man-hating dykes whose fathers wouldn’t pay for college, have known for decades: that women are just as good as men at everything under the sun, plus they’re smarter and more mature and more in touch with their emotions and better at multitasking and they smell better and they aren’t always scratching themselves or asking for anal sex.
- An equally stubborn refusal to accept the obvious corollary to the absolute equality of men and women as proven by feminist science (which, unlike the markedly inferior patriarchal science, is unencumbered by such unempowering, confidence-shattering, and indeed feelings-hurting elements as control groups, peer review, the scientific method, and rockets shaped like penises), namely that we should treat women better than men whenever possible and otherwise complain very loudly about victim blaming.
- Expressing, suggesting, or hinting at discomforting truths about men and women and the things they do together naked.
- Failing to sufficiently disparage and disadvantage men.
- Directed at a man by some mediocre-looking, probably overweight chick with a boring personality who can’t cook: failing to reassure the speaker that — despite her decade-plus of sluttily slutting it up in bars, clubs, parks, alleyways, bathrooms, and the occasional library from here to Cancun (Paris for the brunettes, Prague for the redheads), cashing in the frequent flyer miles she’s earned with every purchase of the morning-after pill — she will surely meet the man of her dreams (tall, rich, handsome, selfless, funny, and faithful, as well as ninety seven other necessary conditions, but — let’s face it — mostly tall, rich, and handsome) before her 30th birthday/her 31st birthday/her 32nd birthday/her 33rd birthday/her 34th birthday/her 35th birthday/New Year’s Eve after her 35th birthday/Valentine’s Day after New Year’s Eve after her 35th birthday/Shrove Tuesday after Valentine’s Day after New Year’s Eve after her 35th birthday/Ash Wednesday after Shrove Tuesday after Valentine’s Day after New Year’s Eve after her 35th birthday/her thirty-sixth birthday/any minute now/any minute… now!/seriously, any minute now/OH GOD WHY HAVEN’T I MET HIM YET?/please God let it be this year/never mind, I don’t need a man to be happy — not when I’ve got six cats and a Ph.D. in gender studies. Derogatory. Punishable by immediate cessation of drink purchase requests.
Appendix: Six cats
look at all the kitties