Black people in their own words: Halloween edition
Nov 2nd, 2011 by Unamused
Halloween has come and gone, but the body count continues to rise.
A (white) mother of two is fighting for her life after being crushed by a shopping cart thrown from a fourth-floor walkway (by Raymond Hernandez and Jeovanni Rosario) while buying Halloween candy for underprivileged kids in (overwhelmingly black and Hispanic) East Harlem.
And in Detroit (83% black), as of Sunday, the so-called “Devil’s Night” tradition of Halloween arson is down 50 percent from last year: only 52 fires reported in the two days before Halloween 2011, compared to 104 in 2010. However, these figures do not include Halloween night. Last year, there were 65 fires on Oct. 31 alone, for a three-day total of 169.
I know what you’re thinking
I know what you’re thinking: oh, those crazy black people — always up to something!
But wait: how can we know for sure? Since the “mainstream” (meaning radical left-wing) media are committed to covering up the realities of black crime, Unamusement Park goes straight to the source: black people, writing on social networking websites, who are fed up with it themselves (or, possibly, just want to brag about it).
This summer, I used my usual racist trick (namely, reporting what black people say) to prove that the “unrest” in Cleveland Heights (43% black) in June was yet another black flash mob, and that the violence that ruined the Fourth of July celebration at the Inner Harbor in Baltimore (64% black) was also the fault of black people.
Join me, won’t you, for another fascinating exercise in African-American studies: log in to Twitter and search for “black people shot” (and other interesting combinations of words). Here’s a small sample of what you’ll find.
As early as 9:20 am, “Ackeem Atkinson” (who is black) wrote:
Black people can’t be in a black room with black cause they will shot
Prescient, if not grammatical.
At 3:10 pm, “Marie Valentine” (who is also black) wrote:
Jus saw the e-mail about two people getting shot near campus, & the suspects are black??? How convenient#smh [shaking my head]
Judging by her references to UNCG and the weather in Greensboro, Marie Valentine is referring to a double shooting that occurred just after midnight on Oct. 31, outside a club called “Drink” next to the University of North Carolina at Greensboro campus (WFMY News 2, a CBS affiliate). The club was hosting an after party following a concert by Kanye West and Jay-Z when an argument that spilled into the street ended in the shooting death of a 24-year-old. The other victim was hospitalized with non-life-threatening injuries.
At 3:25 pm, “Imani Watts” (black as well) wrote:
Only whitee people look fo thee killer us black people shot thee motherfuckers and keep it movingg !
Translation: Only white people look for the killer. Us black people shoot the motherfuckers and keep it moving!
At 4:50 pm, “Tokyeo CO.ol” (quite black) wrote:
lol @_DaveyBaby stirring the anger in alot of black people right now. By the end of today 3 people will get shot.
No, I don’t know what the hell he’s talking about.
At 7:36 pm, “DayDayThompson” (very black) wrote:
Damn niggas did the shooting ?RT @C0DESTER09: Shooting at sierra hwy/soledad 2 people shot 3 black guys ages 17-20 :0
This somewhat confused Tweet refers to another double shooting, this one on Monday afternoon in northwestern Los Angeles County. A black man, together with two black accomplices, fatally shot Alejandro Torres when he attempted to stop them from mugging another man (The Signal, NBC Los Angeles, NBC LA again, LAist). The robbery victim was also shot, but has since been released from hospital.
At 11:06 pm, “TheyKno MyName” (black as heck) wrote of the Washington, D.C. shootings:
“@ImahDieFaking: Who got shot down Georgetown?? Im guhhhh.”UMM I CALLED IT,HOLLOWEEN,BLACK PEOPLE,IN DC?CTFU YEP,SOUNDS ABOUT RITE!
At 11:18 pm, “Aaron Turner” (black, but not quite on the same page as everyone else) wrote:
Lmao bout to walk up to somebody house an be lik trick or treat to bad ima get shot these white people round cheaa don’t lik black people
I wonder why.
At 11:39 pm, “*HeyyImAmbitiousNay*” (black too) wrote:
Its Sad How Black People Cant Do Nun WithOut SumOne Gettn SHOT! TF
At 12:13 am, “Dominicana” (black) wrote of the Washington, D.C. shootings:
Black people can’t celebrate shit without someone getting shot or stabbed. Ex. Gtown this Halloween Night
At 2:34 am, “Jaleah Mitchy Love” (black) wrote:
Smh [shaking my head] , someone really got shot at Caseys . Black people fuck everything up !!
At 1:22 pm, “Ogonna-Chinwe” (black) provided the details:
Yes, it’s yet another double shooting. According to the Associated Press (via NJ.com) and NorthJersey.com, 36-year-old Lashanda Wright and 28-year-old Javon Perry, both of Paterson, NJ, were shot after 23-year-old Mandel D. Sly Jr. was hit in the head by a chair in a separate fight. The shooter is still at large, but of course the news won’t report his or her race. Saving lives isn’t quite as important as censoring black crime.
At 9:01 am, “Angela L.Young” (black) wrote of the New Orleans shootings:
RT wdsu: 15 People Shot Overnight In New Orleans — http://t.co/yerUIkIG>>>This is ridiculous. How many of the perpetrators were black? SMH [shaking my head]
At 4:35 pm, “S H A N E L L )” (black) wrote:
Black people can’t never have no fun, Somebody always gotta be getting shot, and females always gotta be mean muggin, B**** go dance Shit
At 5:49 and 6:15 pm, “Alyssa Rheanna” (black) wrote:
Some guy almost got shot three ft away from me ifucking ran iswear black people are crazy
Not to mention the car comes back and the guy who had the gun waves at me !
At 7:36 and 7:37 pm, “DamNISHA_Fine’” (black) wrote of the New Orleans shootings (presumably):
Man thats down fuckin bad 15 ppl got shot and 2 died ( R.in.p [rest in peace] tilly) black people cant never have fun
You dont see white people killing white people :( R.in.P Parkboy Tilly)
At 8:25 pm, “Roll Me Up&SMOKE Me” (who is, shockingly, black) wrote of… well, who the hell knows:
15 Deep ? Wtf [what the fuck]! Thats TOO Many Black People In ONE Group . Somebody Getting Shot !
Introducing the Officially Not Racist list
I’ve heard it said again and again (and again and again and again): black people can’t be racist. They just can’t. Therefore I am pleased to report that the following sentiments are officially not racist:
- Black people are crazy.
- Black people fuck everything up.
- Black people, unlike white people, can’t have fun without someone getting shot.
- Black people can’t celebrate without someone getting shot, or at least stabbed.
- Black people can’t do anything without someone getting shot (which is sad).
- You can’t even put black people in one place without someone getting shot.
- Black people need to do better; specifically, they need to stop shooting other people.
I knew it! I always knew I wasn’t a racist for believing all those things. Still, it feels pretty good to know for sure.
The above sentiments are also officially okay to announce to black people. As “Superwoman” (who is Guyanese and Bajan, and therefore presumably an expert on race and incapable of racism) wrote Tuesday night:
If you bashing your own race you can’t get mad when others do it too.
There it is: as long as black people insist on bashing their own race, they can’t get mad when we do it too. Don’t worry, if they ever stop bashing their own race, I’m sure I can come up with a really convincing argument why they still can’t get mad when we continue to do it — which, of course, we will.