Finally, some good news
Jul 26th, 2011 by Unamused
Finally, some good news out of Columbia, SC, where eighteen-year-old Carter Strange, white, was lynched by eight black teenagers just one month ago. Via Diversity is Chaos, your source for minorities behaving
badly in statistically unremarkable ways: “Sheriff: Dead motel robber was going to rape clerk” (WIS, July 25).
A man [Vincent Carson] is dead after the motel clerk he tried to sexually assault and rob early Monday morning fought back and killed him, deputies said.
Hahaha, nice. In a truly shocking turn of events, the perpetrator was a person of color. No, really! I couldn’t believe it either.
When keeping it real goes wrong:
As the female clerk went into the breakfast room to prepare breakfast, she found Carson waiting inside. The victim said Carson held a knife to her throat and said “this is a robbery.”
Investigators said when her attacker slipped the knife into his pants pocket to begin tying her up with plastic ties, the woman pulled a handgun from under her shirt, turned and fired into the man’s chest at point blank range.
Man, he must have felt pretty stupid.
Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott said Carson’s intent was not only to rob the motel, but also to rape the clerk. “There’s no doubt that was his intent,” said Lott. “Not only was he going to rob her, but he was going to sexually assault her. Now what was he going to do after that assault was over with, we don’t know.”
No, we don’t know. We can, however, make some educated guesses: he might have smashed her face to mush, cut her throat, washed her out with astringent cleaning solution, soaked her in bleach and hydrogen peroxide, poured Drano down her throat, or made any number of other bold but ineffectual attempts to destroy the evidence/her. After all, he was black. (Was that “racist”? When it comes to reporting the realities of inter-racial crime, I can never tell.)
The suspect was wanted in at least one other motel robbery in the Midlands. The Orangeburg County Sheriff’s Department was looking for Carson in connection with a July 14 robbery at the Hampton Inn on US Highway 601.
In that incident, deputies said Carson broke into the room of two elderly tourists and took their money, their cell phone and their vehicle.
I guess South Carolina’s crime rate just took a hit. A few (thousand) more shootings like this, and South Carolina (66 percent white, 28 percent black) might actually have more white crime than black! Crazy, I know.
Lott said that this was an unfortunate situation in which the victim feared for her life and defended herself.
Lott said the clerk had been victimized in one of two recent robberies at the same Days Inn and had gotten permission from her employer to carry a .22 caliber gun. The suspect in both of those incidents was identified as 22-year-old David Wesley Watson.
Watson is also believed to be the man who shot and killed Papa John’s Pizza store manager Steven Fowler in June.
I think it’s safe to say David Wesley Watson’s greatest accomplishment in life was indirectly causing the shooting death of… what’s-his-face. The black guy with the knife — I know, that doesn’t really narrow it down, does it? I could scroll up and find out what his name is… nah, I’ve moved on.
What about this pizza murder? To date, five men have been charged in connection with the June 3 murder of Steven Fowler (The State, June 16):
- David Wesley Watson, the gunman, charged with murder, attempted robbery and four counts of armed robbery, including two at the Days Inn in question: stealing cash and a cellphone in broad daylight on May 30, and robbing the pistol-packing clerk on the morning of June 6
- Edward Antonio Walker, charged with murder, armed robbery and attempted armed robbery, including an early morning raid on the Comfort Inn and Suites with Watson on June 3
- Darnell Donte Crocker, charged with murder, attempted armed robbery and injury to real property — when he’s not murdering pizza store managers, he enjoys stealing and vandalizing air conditioners (May 9)
- Carwin Tyron Pettis Jr.: murder and attempted armed robbery
- Timothy Ricardo Fisher: murder and attempted armed robbery
So that’s five pizza murderers/motel robbers/convincing arguments for forced sterilization/AC vandals, in a city that’s 49.2 percent white, 46.0 percent black, and 1.7 percent Asian. We should expect a couple of these guys to be white, right? I mean, the chance of them all being black is, like, 2 percent, so —
Obviously this is just a coincidence. (Remember: pattern recognition is racist.) It’s not like black people are more criminal than white people, or anything.
“Citizens need to be aware of their surroundings,” the sheriff said. “If you see or hear anything that may be out of place or suspicious in nature, it’s always best to use your better judgment and call law enforcement.”
With all due respect to the sheriff, I submit to you the slightly modified Unamusement Park version: if you see or hear anything totally normal and statistically unremarkable, like a black man trying to rob and/or sexually assault you, it’s always best to use your concealed firearm and shoot him to death on the spot.
Alternatively, if you find yourself in such a situation, and all your instincts (those cognitive holdovers from a time before political correctness and civil rights lawsuits and white guilt) are screaming out in unison, warning you against the danger inherent in the six mugshots above — well, you can choose to ignore them instead, and just let him attack you, because after all you wouldn’t want to seem racist, would you?
That would be just awful.